Kirjoittaja Aihe: Broken (K-12, S/R, Angst, ENG)  (Luettu 234 kertaa)

0 vuotislaista ja 1 Ankeuttaja kyttää tätä aihetta.

Poissa Leamire

  • Vampyyri
  • Vuotislainen
  • Sukupuoli: Noita
  • The sharpest lives are the deadliest to lead
Broken (K-12, S/R, Angst, ENG)
« : Maaliskuu 28, 2010, 09:17:36 »
Nimi: Broken
Rating: K-12
// Ikäraja muokattu & pyöristetty sääntömuutoksen mukaiseksi. :) -R
Pairing: Sirius/Remus
Genre: Angst
Summary: They were meant to be. And yet they weren't.
Varoitukset: Muutamia kirosanoja.
Pituus: One-shot
Disclaimer: Hahmot kuuluvat J.K. Rowlingille - minä vain lainaan niitä.
A/N: Englanninkielinen ficci, johon sain haasteen toyhdolta. Kommentit olisivat arvostettuja, kuten aina.

//Zenzibar muokkasi suomenkielisen ikärajan. -Zenz

  Broken


   She's just a rebound: too young, clearly not his type of girl. Too lively, too enthusiastic, not deep enough. Remus has always been a deep person. Serious, yes, but not boring like most of people would think. Just deep.
   And she, obviously, is not. And what bothers me the most is that I'm just like her. Not for him.
   I don't get it. As soon as I'm out of the picture she starts to go after that one thing that is supposed to be mine. Doesn't she know, or even sense, that I'm still here, by his side - like I've always been? He's mine to be with. Mine to touch and mine to love. Why doesn't she see that?
   Why doesn't he see that...
   He's drinking again, sitting at the kitchen table with his head bowed just above the surface of the table and burried between his shaky hands. He used to be so adorable as a drunk, passionate and bold - I was the tender one for a change. But now he's just... sad. I hate it. I hate to sit next to him, smoothing the lines from his forehead without him seeing or sensing my touch. It hurts. It really freaking hurts.
   I need a cigarette.

   Things used to be so different the time before Azkaban. It was a time full of mouths, legs, hands and bodies. Full of laughter, as we escaped from Order's meetings into that tiny cleaning closet again and again. It was a time full of sweet words whispered in the cover of the night, though silence was more comfortable: we didn't need words.
   Now I am desperate for words. I want to shout his name and be heard again, to be able to communicate now when death has come between us and separated us with a curtain of silence and invisibility. I'm getting frustrated. I take a hold on his neck and massage his favourite spot with my thumb. He sighs, and for a second I think he feels my touch. But no... He just takes a new bottle and keeps being this drunken wreck. Miserable human wreck. Like I've been most of my life.
   I sit by him all night long, patting his back and stroking his brown hair. At the crack of dawn he's asleep. Finally. I am sick and tired of watching him mourn after somebody who's not me. After her. It's annoying as hell, it makes me feel like a total loser: it makes me question why I'm even here, when he obviously has already moved on. It's unbearable.
   God damn you, Remus Lupin. Damn you and your tired eyes that make me want to comfort you and take you into my arms. Damn you and your voice that makes my heart ache. Damn you for taking my heart and my soul and making me stay with you and watch how you throw them away like garbage because of a girl you aren't supposed to love. A girl who doesn't love you like I do. She never will.
   I hate you. I love you. And may God damn you for it, for being my hell and my salvation in this mess.

   I put my arms around his shoulders and wish to die.
   Too bad I'm dead already.
« Viimeksi muokattu: Kesäkuu 04, 2012, 16:31:35 kirjoittanut Renefer »

Poissa Ryövärintytär

  • pulupikkunen
  • Vuotislainen
  • Sukupuoli: Noita
  • Täydenkuun ja yksinäisen karhun neljäs tytär
  • Pottermore: PotionRain200
  • Tupa: Rohkelikko
Vs: Broken (PG, S/R, Angst, ENG)
« Vastaus #1 : Maaliskuu 29, 2010, 18:31:01 »
Ei hitsi, vähänkö on upea. Lopussa huomasin että olin puolet lukemisesta pidättänyt hengitystä :D
Ihan mahtava. Varsinki kaks viimistä lausetta oli hyviä :)
Anteeksi nyt kovasti, en vaan osaa sanoa mitään rakentavaa :/
"Hän kirjoittaa kuin känninen rapu!"
"I'm not crazy! My mother had me tested."
"Oh Remus you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind, hey Remus!"
http://lorunloppu.tumblr.com/

Poissa Leamire

  • Vampyyri
  • Vuotislainen
  • Sukupuoli: Noita
  • The sharpest lives are the deadliest to lead
Vs: Broken (PG, S/R, Angst, ENG)
« Vastaus #2 : Kesäkuu 26, 2010, 11:14:51 »
Kiitos että jaksoit lukea ja kommentoida, Ryövärintytär! Ihanaa, että pidit. :)